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Sports media blows more often than not.

The casual sports fan may not have known of Hamilton’s past struggles with drugs and alcohol, but The Media will certainly not let that piece of info get past you.

Rick Reilly blows.  You’re a great fit for The Ocho. 

Erin Andrews, you’re still hot.

But the real story is Josh Hamilton.  You hit 28 home runs in the first round of the home run derby.  and you still lost to Morneau, who hit half the HRs you racked up.  And we were reminded you drank and got high a lot a few years back.  That’s two L’s for you, my friend.  But next time you come to Yankee Stadium, you will get booed, which is a W, unless you some time in the future come back in Pinstripes and get booed, which is another L.

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i’m sure there are tons of ESPN-connected clips all around the internet that prove many times over how foolish their content can be.  for example:

  • stories about Dana Jacobson and her “drinking tirade”
  • the doucehbaggery of Stephen A. Smith
  • Merrill Hodge’s constant attacks on Vince Young’s rookie year
  • the “point-counterpoint” segments with John Clayton and Sean Salisbury
  • Skip Bayless

the list goes on…and on…

But now the crowning achievement of all ESPN clips, quite possibly the greatest ever.  Thanks, Chris.  You fuckhead.

there’s something miserably appropriate regarding today’s glum weather.  it’s as if we used up all our happy points for the entire month of February just to see the Giants win the only game that matters.

i’d gladly trade an extra week just to have that same feeling I felt last night.  it was palpable.  all you ever ask for as a fan is that two-minute offense scenario where your team controls their own destiny – not missed or made field goals from the other team, not penalties, certainly not bad referreeing. 

wait, did Eli really just escape that sack…hold up how did Tyree hold possession of that football…his helmet?  WTF?

It sounds silly to say, especially rearding this is sports we’re talking about, but Eli had absolutely no intention of losing this game.  They beat the best team in the NFL, no questions asked.  we are now entitled to talk shit until next September, when they do this all over again.  That’s why they play the game, that’s why we watch.

As for me, i’ll gladly bask in this peculiar afterglow for maybe a week.  Maybe I’ll go to their ticker tape parade.  after that, it’s time to retire the Giants cap, t-shirt, and whatever regalia I drape myself in every Sunday, sometimes Mondays, and every once in while on Thursdays and Saturdays.  Baseball is coming up, and the Yankees have to take care of that other New England franchise.  being a fan is having to put yourself through annual misery, just like today’s weather.  At least the sun shines in the summer.

PS.  Fuck Boston.

as predicted, the Giants did indeed score a late field goal, overtime at that, to overcome the heavily favored Green Bay Packers.  although the game featured more touchdowns than I had anticipated.

I will not mention That Other Team Whose Name We Dare Not Utter until gameday.

The New York tackle football Giants overcome the elements to win 16-13 with a late game field goal.  oh yeah it will be an exciting game, the kind only a city as frigid as Green Bay can provide. 

i’ll come back sunday night to gloat or cry.

and because people are already talking Packers/Patriots SuperBowl, and how much Joe Buck is going to fawn over his crushes/starting QBs on that media wet dream.

just because we need to take games one at a time.

just because Eli obviously admires Bret Favre.

 

last week’s NY Giants victory was for your trash-talking brother Ronde.  This week is dedicated to you. 

You probably dont care too much, you have a cushy job at NBC and will probably say the Giants deserved yesterday’s victory.but you did yap your mouth re: Eli not being a leader.  the verdicts out on that, i admit, but i couldnt help but think about your lack of class for those preseason comments.

the Giants are in the NFC Championship game.  how about that?  i myself didnt think it was possible early on in the season.

Hopefully next week they’ll show up again.  Win or loss, it is still a remarkable turnaround for their late-season slump, up until that New England game.  just the thought of a postseason game at Lambeau Field seems appropriate.  what an atmosphere that will be.

Oh by the way, you picked the dullest outfit on Project Runway, Tiki.  you should’ve gone with the 3-piece suit.

random notes:

-it’s a bootleg show with late 90s  gameshow production ala Who wants to be a Millionaire (purple lighting, mysteriuos horns/synth, myriad moving spotlights).  too many commercials stiple the action.

-the Hulkster bringing his unique style of douschyness as expected, and Layla Ali with absolutely no on-stage presence.  maybe she should be a gladiator herself?

-powerball, i cant seem to recall the camera styles of the original program, but this just looked bad.  not to mention one of the contestants injured herself right away, leaving the other girl to essentially play one-on-two basketball with the gladiators.  the guys (or at least the red-uniformed one), however, was leaving the gladiators in the dust;  just too much speed.

-Wolf proving to be the biggest jerk right off the bat with (you guessed it) his signature howl.  at least he’s funny.  Crush so far is my favorite female gladiator.

-ahh the classic Joust, but this time above a giant pool.  they should probably make the water smelly to give the contestants extra incentive.  or add some pirahnas.  i dont like the pool idea at all.  it reminds me of the show Dog Eat Dog that used the same tactic to very predictable and plain-old-bad results.  the quick-editing camera cuts ruined this otherwise good matchup.

-so far not a good start.  bring Larry Czonka back.

-Earthquake, new competition, wrestling on an elevated circle, and trying not to be thrown off, or throw out the gladiator.  not bad really

-Hit and Run is just plain dumb.  why incorporate Frogger to this kind of competition?

-Pyramid was cool.  pretty much “king of the mountain” logic.

-it feels rigged.  i cant explain it, but it just does.

-wow 2 hours of this shit?  forget it.  its a wrap for this show.  the Elimanator was fun,  though.

Joe “that’s disgusting” Buck is pretty much hated on mostly (c) Crime Mob, and there’s good reason for it.  as the self annointed morality leader of sports broadcasters, he’s brought the profession to major lows that dont add up to his constant exposure.  admittedly, i can tolerate small portions of his banter during baseball season, but all bets are off during tackle football.

deadspin linked a clip of the joe buck show (featuring one of my favorites, the actor Paul Rudd) that was undergoing production.  as a betting man, i would say this hasnt a shot in hell of making the airwaves.  but knowing how bad i am at gambling, this may see the light of day aftert all.